Finding Who We Are: Jehovah
by DreadPirateSephy
Summary: In every person's life, there are moments of sudden clarity that leave them changed forever. Various people, places, and events; one epiphany. What could the Nightmare of Gaia want more than anything? And just where can you find a way to start again?


Disclaimer: I own nothing displayed in any of this story; I'm just borrowing for a little while.

Please note: Character, name of God, and appearance of God are decided each chapter by drawing slips of paper with names and traits out of a hat. Category/location of this story will change based on the character of the most recent chapter. A full explanation and list of potentially upcoming characters can be found on my profile page. That all being said, please enjoy! :)

**Finding Who We Are**

**Chapter 2: Sephiroth**

It was quite a surprise to go from being a half dissolved consciousness floating through the Lifestream, to becoming fully corporeal and cognizant. Again. Unlike the previous two times, though, this time it was not because of his own plotting and schemes. This time, there wasn't even any warning. One minute, he was just minding his own business, wondering what to do with himself now that Jenova was gone; the next he was standing in the middle of an unfamiliar street, in an unfamiliar city, in the rain. Startled, confused, and wary, he began walking.

The silent streets offered no answers, for all their mocking semblance of familiarity, and after an hour, Sephiroth was becoming increasingly frustrated. And violent. His left hand itched, and it took all his self control to keep from summoning the Masamune and slicing a few buildings into pieces. Finally, his frustration reached its boiling point as he realized that he still had no idea where he was, despite the tickling feeling that he had been there before. Hoping a higher vantage point would jog his memory, he crouched, readying himself to leap to the top of the office-like building before him.

Inhale, exhale, let the coiled muscles release, rise powerfully into the air… and then suddenly he was falling back halfway shy of his target. His eyes wide in surprise, it took all of the former Shinra General's agility and quick reflexes to spin mid-air and land in a semi-graceful crouch. Confused and concerned, he stared up at the roof he'd been aiming for, wondering if his failure was the result of the Jenova cells going dormant, or his extended stay in the Lifestream, or both. He rose shakily and was preparing to make a second attempt when a voice from behind startled him, and he spun into a defensive crouch.

"You haven't lost you touch," said the middle-aged man leaning against the office's entryway. "Well, not that much, anyway. There's just a stronger gravitational pull here." Sephiroth warily surveyed the man, who continued to lounge against the entrance, smiling pleasantly. He looked fit, and was probably in his late 30s to mid 40s, making him not that much older than Sephiroth himself, though his impeccable business suit, long khaki overcoat, and black bowler hat made him seem older and wiser than his youthful face. Though the man's arms were crossed, his posture was relaxed enough that Sephiroth felt somewhat confident he wasn't about to be attacked. After their mutual evaluations, the man straightened and bent to retrieve the black leather suitcase lying at his feet, and Sephiroth noted that his light brown hair was actually quite long, and pulled back into a ponytail. "Well, then. Shall we?" he asked, though his only answer was a slight lift in one fine silver eyebrow. "You have questions, don't you?" A cautious nod. "Good, because I have answers. Unless you see someone else you'd rather ask…?" the man offered with a smile, waving an arm out to the desolate city. Sephiroth followed the gesture with narrowed eyes, and finally took a step forward, fully prepared to fight his way out of the building should it prove a trap, gravitational pull or no. Smiling wider in appreciation, the man led him into the abandoned office building, all the way to the top floor. When they reached what Sephiroth assumed was the man's office, he dropped the suitcase on his desk and sat in the turquoise, fluffy chair behind it, motioning for the General to take equally fluffy silver chair in front of him. Once Sephiroth had settled warily, the man leaned back in his chair. "Alright, the floor is yours. Ask anything."

"Who are you?" Sephiroth growled, unnerved as he stared into the man's eyes, which this close he was able to see weren't the indigo he'd originally thought them to be, but were actually swirling shades of violets and blues.

At his question, the man gave a small laugh. "A complicated question. One that you are in no state to fully comprehend just yet, so, at this point, you may simply call me Jehovah." Sephiroth's eyes narrowed dangerously and he tensed, but the man only laughed again. "And no, I have no connection to Jenova, despite the similarity of our names and titles. You need not worry." This had the opposite of its desired effect, and Sephiroth's eyes narrowed further.

"How do you know about that…?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous. The man only laughed again.

"I know many things." He shrugged. "Call it one of the unique quirks of my position."

Sephiroth relaxed only slightly. "And just what exactly is your position…?" The man frowned and leaned forward as he studied Sephiroth closely. He was quiet for so long the general thought he wasn't going to answer, but finally the man let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in his chair.

"Alright. Maybe you really are ready to know the answer…" Another silence, which was too long for Sephiroth's growing impatience.

"The answer to what?" he snapped, and the man smiled.

"The meaning of life."

"This is pointless," Sephiroth muttered, standing angrily. Before he could leave, however, the man spoke again.

"Nothing is pointless if it leads to the answers you seek the most."

At this Sephiroth spun, his eyes glowing dangerously. "How am I supposed to finds such answers if you never answer any of my questions?" The man appeared completely unfazed by such an intimidating and powerful soldier's death glare.

"Perhaps you simply aren't asking the _right_ questions."

Sephiroth was completely infuriated by this smug, calm, and most likely insane individual, and wanted nothing more at that moment than to throttle him. But there was something that made him pause and consider those words. Maybe it was something in the man's tone, maybe something in those strange, swirling eyes, or maybe it was something in the words themselves that triggered his curiosity, but slowly he sat back down, his narrowed eyes never leaving the strange man in the black bowler hat. "All right, then…" The man only gave him another of his calm, serene smiles, and waited for him to continue. "First, tell me who you are. Or what you are, or what you do… A serious answer this time, please."

The man nodded solemnly. "Very well. Easy enough, as all those questions have the same answer… I am God."

There was a full five minutes of silence.

"You're… God…" Sephiroth repeated, his flat words wavering slightly with disbelief.

The man beamed at him. "Yes. The Father, to be more specific."

"Uh-huh. Ok. Sure." A raised eyebrow.

"You don't believe me?"

Sephiroth glowered at him. "Why should I?" A heavy sigh.

"That question I can't answer for you. I can only show you the door; you must be the one to walk through it, Neo." Sephiroth gave him a dumbfounded look, and Jehovah looked mildly embarrassed. "Um, never mind…" He gave a small cough to clear his throat, and grew more serious. "Well, alright. I'm assuming you want some kind of proof, then?" he asked, watching the other man expectantly, but he only crossed his arms and settled further back in his chair.

"It would help your case; yes," came the curt reply. Jehovah sighed and shook his head.

"So cynical and doubting… I told you, you weren't ready for that answer just yet, but, you asked, so… name your trial. How would you like me to prove it to you?" Sephiroth was silent for a moment while he thought about that.

"If you're really God, then you should be able to give me what I want the most," the silver general finally said, his voice quiet. A look of surprise flitted across Jehovah's face before something close to pity settled over him.

"You do have a knack for asking the wrong things…" he murmured, so softly Sephiroth wouldn't have heard it had he not had super-human senses.

Stiffening, and doing his best to hide the fact that he was more than disappointed, he raised and eyebrow and flashed a cocky grin. "So you're saying you can't do it? Because you really aren't God, are you?"

Jehovah shook his head, a mild trace of amusement back in his eyes. "Don't be such a smartass. I can't do it because I AM God."

The cocky grin faded, and Sephiroth looked completely confused now. "What?"

"The one thing I can't ever do is interfere with a person's free will. What you ask would interfere with thousands'. I can't make the world suddenly forgive you." Jehovah noted with interest the fact that, if just for a moment, Sephiroth was unable to completely hide how crestfallen he was at that news. "However…" Just like a child, Sephiroth looked back up, schooling his face into neutrality while he waited hopefully. "It _is_ well within my powers to give you the opportunity to be forgiven." The SOLDIER's eyes widened. "But…"

'_Of course there would be a but…'_

"For you to actually be able to earn their forgiveness, first you have to learn to forgive yourself." Sephiroth looked up sharply, and Jehovah smiled knowingly. "Oh, yes, I know about that. I told you, I'm God. Knowing the pains and hopes you carry in your heart is part of the job description. A particularly useful part when it comes to the ones like you, who never say what you're really feeling." For the first time during their conversation, Sephiroth was at a loss for words. After he'd opened and closed his mouth once or twice, and still no words came out, Jehovah grinned and stood. "Come on, what do you say we take a little walk? I believe you and I are long overdue for a chat…"

Mutely, the General stood and followed the older man as he led him up the staircase at the back of the office. Jehovah opened the door to the roof and motioned for Sephiroth to go first. The once-Nightmare nodded slightly and stepped out into warm sun, crashing waves, and soft sand. Completely bewildered, he turned to see Jehovah smiling at him from the door of a small beach house, and somewhere in the back of his mind he registered the fact that he was now wearing a light blue short-sleeved button up shirt and loose-fitting khaki pants, and that his own clothes had changed from his battle garb to a loose, soft, long-sleeved white shirt and loose black pants, and both men were barefoot. "But… how… how did…?" Sephiroth stuttered.

Jehovah just grinned as he moved to stand next to him. "I believe the phrase is: I told you so," he teased, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Come; walk with me…"

Feeling the most vulnerable he had since the age of five, Sephiroth followed, glancing up nervously at the man beside him every so often. The two walked in silence through the surf for several minutes before Sephiroth finally worked up the courage to speak.

"About… what you said before… what did you mean by that…?"

Jehovah smiled. "For there to be true forgiveness, all parties must both forgive and be forgiven. Meaning, you must not only forgive others, you must _allow_ _yourself_ to be forgiven. For that to happen, you must first forgive yourself. You haven't. You still carry around your guilt and blame yourself. And in case you hadn't heard, blaming yourself doesn't fix anything."

"Then what will?"

"Letting go and moving on. And if you still feel the need to atone for your past mistakes, then instead of wallowing in a pit of self-loathing, do anything and everything you can to help those you feel you've wronged. Help a stranger with her groceries; mow the lawn for an elderly man; feed the homeless; whatever you feel you need to do to give back to society and keep yourself from falling back into guilt and blame. "To turn enemies into strangers, do something kind for them"; and if they still insist on waging war against you, kill them with kindness."

"But… what about you…?"

"Hmm…?"

"What… would I have to do… to earn _your_ forgiveness…?"

Jehovah stopped and turned to face Sephiroth, putting both hands on his shoulders. "Nothing. You don't have to do anything. You already have my forgiveness. You will _always_ have that. You had it the day you were born into this world, and nothing in this world or any other can ever take that away. I love you, my dear child, and nothing will ever, ever change that."

Sephiroth's vision swam and he reeled from the sheer force of the emotions those words stirred in him. It was the first time in his life he felt truly loved, with no conditions or expectations, for simply being who he was, and he had no idea how to respond to that. He felt like a child again, and so was only partially ashamed of the tears that pricked his eyes like fire. Words failed him, and he lowered his head. There was silence, and Jehovah released him. For a moment, in his state of confusion and swirling emotions, he feared the man had been disgusted by his unshed tears and left him, but a second later, something flopped on top of his head.

He peeked up and saw the black bowler drooping down over his forehead, and looked at Jehovah, who smiled at him reassuringly before looking out over the water. After a moment, Sephiroth followed his gaze, and couldn't stop the gasp that flew from his lips at the sight before him. It was the most stunning sunrise he'd ever seen, with golds, violets, and greens, and the spiraling constellations of a galaxy in the sky overhead. The reflections in the water made him feel as if he were just going to float away into the depths of space, and he would be lost forever.

His lungs felt constricted and just before he began gasping for breath, he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, and all tension seemed to melt from his body. "Don't be afraid, dear one. I am with you, and always will be." Sephiroth smiled his first genuinely happy smile in years and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he found himself standing in front of a familiar mountain waterfall, alone. Before he even had time to sigh in disappointment, a warm breeze brushed his cheeks and ruffled his hair, and a voice whispered in his ear. "Now, go show the world who you truly are…" Warmth seemed to fill his chest, and he found himself standing a little straighter. Feeling like he could take on anything, Sephiroth began making his way down the mountain, a smile still flitting across his lips. It was halfway down that he heard raised voices—very familiar voices—and stopped to listen.

"Stop crying! I told you, I'm not lost! I know exactly where I'm going!"

"…Really…? Then why have we already passed that rock five times already? Or has it just sprouted legs and followed us?"

"SHUT UP!"

Sephiroth jumped as the voice spoke again, this time as a tickle in the back of his mind. "I think it would also be best if you took your brothers with you…" Shaking his head and smirking, the former general followed the voices until he found his three "clones", where they stood arguing over a map, the largest crying loudly. The three froze and looked up at him in shock and mild fear as he approached, but he ignored that as he bent down and studied their map.

"Ah. There's your problem. That map is at least ten years old. The way to Nibelheim is this way," he offered, pointing and moving ahead. The three looked at each other, and then back to him before cautiously folding the map and following him down the mountain.

They walked in awkward silence for half an hour before Sephiroth decided to break the tension. "So, what're your plans?" he asked cheerily, but Kadaj scoffed and shrugged, crossing his arms in a teenaged display of indifference.

"Nothing," he mumbled, while Yazoo glared and asked defiantly, "Why?"

Now it was Sephiroth's turn to shrug. "Just being curious," he answered calmly. "I was planning on finding a job and a house. If you don't have anywhere else to stay, you're welcome to come stay with me." He continued walking while the three fell behind and began whispering heatedly among themselves.

Of course, he heard every word, but for the sake of their pride, he pretended otherwise, and looked surprised and pleased when Kadaj caught up and answered with a terse "Fine. But only because you begged." Sephiroth gave a snort of laughter and nodded before moving on ahead, leaving the younger three to stare after him in wonder.

"Oh!" he called over his shoulder as the village came into sight. "And the three of you will be taking classes and working, starting tomorrow." The flurry of angry protests behind made him grin, and he felt a chuckle from somewhere Else. _'Keeping those three out of trouble should serve as a nice distraction from all that guilt, I think…'_ And in the meantime, they'd help the world rebuild.

**A/N: Wow… ok, so that took me WAAAY longer to finish than I hoped… but hey, I finished. I also apologize if Sephiroth seems a little out of character; I was trying to play off of more of the emotions that he was denied as a child coming out, and also the kind of freedom he would feel after being given a second chance. I don't know if I succeeded with that, but either way, I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading! :)**


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